February 26, 2018

Soaring Without Wings

Once upon a time I dreamed but could not bring the scenes to life. There were castles and princes on horses that pranced. Among verdant grass wildflowers danced. They were already free, while I kept trying to be.

Once upon a time I dreamed of flying over trees and through the clouds. In every frame, a rescue from some threat to happiness. Always on the lookout to avoid distress, I dreamed. Could this be why much stays inside my heart and head? I'm working hard to put them in my blog instead - to share without the dread. It scares me anyway, but I cannot give up.

Dreams, resilient and tenacious, bolster me. They peel back layers to reveal what I now know. I can soar without wings. The gauntlet of my fears may sometimes cause delay, but I've learned to move in spite of them.

My daddy wrote a song sometime ago. The lyrics prod, encourage, and admonish me to go.

"Got to keep on moving
Got to shed this feeling. 
Hey now, 
I've got to make it someday,
Just got to find a way."

So, I move, I shed, I go. It's what I know. It's how I live. 

February 12, 2018

It's All About Them

Sometimes getting up is easier said than done. Life happens. Control what you can, manage what you must, but whatever you do, don't give up.

Recently, my cousin lost a son to gun violence. He now wakes up to a new reality of inexplicable loss, yet unanswered questions and the effort to ensure his son has not died in vain. There are others close to me for whom this is also true, who became beacons of light for many. Being an example was not their goal. Making it one moment at a time, one step at a time, one day at a time is what they reached toward. Yet, they've made a difference for someone else.

This is not a post about death, rather it's an exposition of the power of renewed purpose in the face of adverse circumstances. In spite of difficulty, I see them rise each day and create beauty in the midst of it all. They are strength wrapped in pain, fortified by struggle, unified in shared sorrow, comforted by memories. They are unending resilience who celebrate the life of their loved one yet ache at the loss.

Is it hard to do? I imagine so. Are they sometimes bereft and inconsolable? I imagine that too. Knowing the right things to say or do when it gets tough often isn't easy. What is acceptable support? It differs. The key is not causing further injury.

Sometimes, there is nothing we can do. Accept this truth. I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. A hug. Silence, giving them space to process, accept, breathe, figure out how to move forward. These are all options, but every situation requires something different. Pray before approaching. Remain quiet if you are unsure. Even expressions of love may be rejected. Don't take it personally. After all, it's not about you. It's all about them.

February 08, 2018


Since I started this blog, there is one thing I've endeavored to do, share what I call my heartsounds. At some point I realized, though I shared honestly, I may have held back a bit. No, I held back a lot. It's a frightening thing to lay your heart bare. I've admired those brave enough to do this, envied them even, but when it was my turn courage failed.

By nature, I am private. Couple that with a creative's apprehension at rolling out a new canvas of any kind, whether musically, by written word, a first sketch - well, you get the picture. It's not a pretty picture. I am shaking my head as I type, because fear has gripped. That's hard to admit, but it's the truth.

I, however, made a decision that 2018 is the year where I will finally do many things I've wanted to, things that are part of my destiny. It requires a massive push at the mountain of fear that rises every time I purpose to share without reservation. This entry is the first push, and it is major. I commit to write without holding back. Okay, I've put it out there, now I have to follow through.

What I choose to write about will be thoughtfully selected with you in mind. Expect more firsts from me this year. I look forward to the journey of shifting into greater in 2018. Limiting mindsets have been kicked aside, and I am ready. Are you? Let's do this together.