Mind Games

Lately, a number of people with strong spirits of intimidation, provocation and manipulation sought me out. I wondered why they tried to attach themselves to me. How would they benefit from controlling my soul? What was the ultimate purpose?

I noticed several similarities during these encounters. They all used words to try to instill fear, do emotional harm, and manipulate to impose their will. If I did not acquiesce, I was met with extreme anger. No. Rage would be a more appropriate description of their response to my resistance to being their puppet. 

Another thing they shared was an unrelenting attempt to keep me on the defensive. They did something wrong, but when challenged to take responsibility, quickly placed blame on the one they wronged.

I thought, "They are crazy." I am not speaking of the mentally ill. I have compassion for those who battle this disease. I am talking about people whose perspectives are so twisted, they are blind to their own truth. People who repeatedly ask you to hand them a knife, use it to stab you, then say, "Look what you made me do." 

Bewilderment  was my first response-  then came indignation. The audacity! "Keep your mind games. Quell your constant need to control. I see your efforts to manipulate. You've exposed yourself - like Madea - standing behind the screen door asking, 'You can see me?'  Yes! I see you!"

"You have come to the wrong individual. I am not the person you used to know. My spirit is strong against your attacks, yet my heart feels compassion. I wish you knew what you were missing. I wish you could understand. A life that is not whole is no life at all - and you are not whole."

I pray for you, but have no problem steering clear of individuals and environments which seek to infect my soul. I am soaring now - in this new season of my life. My spirit is free, and it feels good. 

Bring Back Our Girls

I find myself consciously seeking to subdue my emotions on the issue of hundreds of Nigerian school girls kidnapped, to be used as pawns to manipulate and control. I care deeply, intensely, and it is difficult to conceptualize or accept this truth. It horrifies me, but it has happened.

They were snatched away from all things familiar, safety now a memory - pulled from expressions of love and care into terrifying situations. It is too much to bear. My heart weeps with the mother's and bleeds with the father's. The images that plague their minds are likely ones of terror. They have seen the nature of the captors. They know the possible fates their offspring face.

I cannot imagine what their days are like. Is sleeplessness and constant worry now the new reality? Do daunting feelings of utter hopelessness and anguish drape the landscape of their thoughts? That state of being is now the common thread, a link between the girls and their families, Nigeria and the world – worry, concern, fear, apprehension, doubt - pain.

The Nigerian people expect the government to do more. In their eyes (on this matter) it is an impotent institution. Maybe the country’s elect feel as powerless. It is possible what is viewed as ineptitude is their stark truth, “we are not equipped to handle this.” I could be wrong, it could be something else altogether. What I do know with certainty, those girls deserve their freedom. I am praying for their safe return. Bring back our girls.

Single Release In A Few Weeks

Whew, what a journey this has been - filled with setbacks (really set ups in disguise). I have learned that you can never go wrong waiting on God's timing. Finally, the production of my sophomore project is in full swing. Several years ago I decided that the project would be titled Live Right, and God said "no it's not", but He did not say it right away; He just gently guided me in a new direction in the midst of my process.

 The title song of the project is called Intimacy, and God took me on a journey, not only to draw me, but to increase my heart's cry for more of Him. That is what the song is all about, no surface relationship - but something deep, expansive and meaningful.

The song will be released in a few weeks. Copyright in place, recording, mix and mastering is complete - photo shoot complete and pictures in hand, just wrapping up the packaging, etc. You will be the first to know the actual release date, so stay tuned.